As the Favre dust settles… lay off the sauce.

Isn’t the press a wonderful thing. Sometimes the slightest pin can drop and suddenly there is a stampede. Which is what it seems happened yesterday. This morning, as things get back to normal, and those that forgot (myself included) that we are still in a time of Favre Watch, are now able to pick through the pieces of yesterday and try and figure out what the hell happened.

It all started with the Star Tribune breaking a story which was later “confirmed” by Associated Press, that a confidential source (who I’m calling Mr Sauce) at the Vikings said Favre had told teammates he wasn’t coming back. Then NFL.com jumped on this and every writer on the books had their say on the matter. One of the writers, Steve Wyche claimed a source at the team confirmed these reports (in this case it was Mr Sauce’s cousin, Timmy Sauce), but then Steve Mariucci is saying Favre’s told him that he isn’t ready to retire yet, saucy!

So, who to believe? Or is it just the case that they are all blowing hot air? Personally I’m not a fan of this style of journalism, where sources are not named so stories cannot ever really be confirmed. The media loves to be led down roads that go nowhere, purely because it sells. But I don’t have a friend called Mr Sauce at the team to feed me information, or even a friend who legally had his name changed to “Confidential Informant” who can make stuff up just to give me something to write about, so all I can do is look at what is being reported and try to figure out what is guff and what is gold. Either that or get into conspiracy theories, but I’ll end up writing several thousand pages on that and never really go anywhere…

The main piece of concrete(ish) news this morning comes from our old friend, Visanthe Shiancoe. Last night he said:

“He told a couple guys on our team he’s going to retire… He hasn’t told me yet. I’m going to check my phone right now, but it hasn’t been said publicly yet so I don’t know what to believe.”

So some second-hand news there, but note that he isn’t saying which players have been told, and that he hasn’t heard anything himself, but at least Mr Sauce seems to be out of the equation, unless Shank is Mr Sauce in which case we’re all doomed. But…. stop me if I’m wrong, but Brett making a muted and staggered announcement about the potential career just doesn’t seem like his style. I heard a few people joking yesterday that he might setup a Will He/Won’t He, Lebron Style, ESPN special where at the end he’ll piss off the whole of Cleveland, but really this does seem a lot more likely than what appeared to have happened yesterday. I’m expecting a fanfare, jets overhead, and Rush Limbaugh’s head on a spike when Favre finally calls it quits, any less and there would always be the nagging feeling that he’ll turn up on Week One expecting to start.

The only other news on the whole situation comes from our lovely friend Judd (*shakes fist and bellows* JUDDDDD!) Zulgad. Apparently our other friend Mr Sauce (or in the case of this article the whole Sauce family, “sources” = sauces, get it? ehhhh? come on work with me? is this thing on?) says the Vikes are going to lure Favre back with a combination of money (and extra $7mil), blackjack and hookers (actually forget the blackjack and the hookers, I just wanted to quote Futurama). Very exciting *yawn*.

In other news, a source has just told me Favre is coming for another year. A family source who doesn’t want to be named, can’t be contacted, has no phone, no email, no name, and if you shine a light in it’s direction it suddenly disappears. Reminds me of a famous Theologian called Anthony Flew and his parable of a Gardener. Oh yeah! See what I did there? Theology + Vikings news! POW! Okay, I need another cup of coffee. See you all tomorrow for more fun and frolics, especially if the Sauces rear their apparently invisible heads.

– Just skip to about 45 seconds in, this kid rocks!

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2 Responses to “As the Favre dust settles… lay off the sauce.”

  1. The Jazzy One Says:

    I have a hunch that this story is FAR from over. I think we’ll still end up hearing very convincing information from both sides of the story. We’ll be convinced that Favre is coming back and that he’s leaving all at the same time.

    Then all of us, and all of the media as well, will say “we knew he’d come back” as he’s playing against the Saints.

  2. Branden Lemke Says:

    Hey man, got ur e-mail. For some reason it won’t let me respond, so I’ll do it this way. lol I’d love to get those questions answered, and I will do what I can to get them for ya!


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