Disney’s Next Film will be… “The Super Bowl Grandpa”

Starring Ben Stiller as Brett Favre, Lindsey Lohan as Brittany Favre, Alec Baldwin as Brad “Chilly” Childress, Will Ferrell as Jared Allen, and Brett Favre as Obi Wan Kenobi.

A lowly farmer (Brett) from a small town dreams of being a quarterback in the NFL, but needs to stop roping calfs for a living if he is to realise his dreams. Then one rainy night on his way back from a manure silo, he stops to pick up a hitchhiker (Jared) who got lost on a boar-hunting expedition. The pair immediately form an unlikely friendship, as the farmer teaches the hitchhiker in the ways of calf roping and spear throwing. Then at the end of a summer of butt slapping, hot wings and helicopter-tactical-nuke-fishing, the mysterious hitchhiker reveals himself to be none other than Jared Allen of the Minnesota Vikings, and he invites the intrepid farmer to join him in Winter Park for the Preseason Drills.

But Brett, being a lazy ass farmer decides to stay on a look after his heard and care for his new-born Grandchild, Parker Brett (No, really? Parker? Like the coat? That’s like 2 last names for a name, and then there’s the poor kid’s last name). But then, one night, while he’s practising his American Idol audition, a young Jedi by the name of Obi Wan Kenobi comes to him and tells him that it’s his destiny to become the first ever Grandfather to win a Super Bowl.

And so Brett makes the journey to Minneapolis to join Jared and the rest of the Purple on their crazy adventure. Will Brett find that which has always been missing from his life? Can he overcome adversity and the media who say he’s past it? And how will he fare when he comes face to face with his biggest farming rival-turned NFL Quarterback Aaron Rogers (played by Tim Curry-with his Muppet Treasure Island accent)?

Hey! It could happen… shuh! And monkeys might fly out my butt! Sorry folks, but it’s a very slow news day today…